Going by the cues
Parents' Corner | 01-Feb-2016
By IC Desk @ Deeksha
Going by the cues - If what we are doing is not working, we should do something different.
Although the title could be the guiding principle for anything we do, it surely is a game changer in parenthood. To understand its significance and start working in this direction let’s take a moment and reflect on how we react when our children misbehave. How do we respond when there is a conflict between us and our child? Is this response appropriate and in proportion to the situation at hand? More importantly is this response working for us?
If not, isn’t it time for us to try something different?
Say, on an occasion our child comes back from school in a foul mood and starts being quite rude. As a parent we could do several things. We could have reprimanded them and sent them off to their room for example or we could choose to do this:
“You obviously have had a bad day and you could do with a hug.” After saying this, embrace the child tightly and give him/her a kiss. After doing this we may actually feel the tension leaving them instantly and this moment creates a perfect chance to have some healthy communication. Sometimes doing the unexpected gives an element of surprise and in turn can bring unexpected positive reactions.
If we want to change our child’s behaviour, it’s safe to say that we could start by changing our own actions and their reactions will change in response to our changed actions. We can learn to do things differently no matter how long things have been going in the wrong direction.
During this time when our children are facing the exams, it would make a lot of sense for us to see if what we are doing is working and if not, choose to do something different!
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